7 Things Your Muslim Wife Won’t Tell You
Most men have a hard time understanding women. Even a woman they’ve been married to for years.
One minute she’s perfectly fine. The next, she’s crying like a baby.
She complains about something but when we offer advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t satisfied.
After several years of marriage (and counselling) I’ve learned to not worry so much about what my wife says. Instead, I should worry about what she doesn’t say.
1. Above All, She Wants Your Love
When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love.
And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect.
And the vicious cycle repeats itself.
Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife.
That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and quirks.
And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and quirks.
2. She’s Bored
It’s the same thing every day.
Week in and week out.
Not only is she bored but she’s also tired.
She has to care for the kids and run the household and then pamper you.
Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim housewife must feel.
And let’s not forget about working woman. Many Muslim women have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down.
So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special. Give her a break.
Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite desert home.
Just do something every now and then to break the monotany.
3. She Wants to Be Complimented
Appreciation.
Everybody wants it.
No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or even worse, it taken for granted.
Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she does not have to cook your meals.
But she does.
And she does that on top of all the other things in her life:
- Working or going to school.
- Caring for the kids.
- Striving to be a better Muslimah.
Show your Muslim wife that you appreciate and are thankful for the things she does to maintain you and your family.
A simple “thank you” is a good start.
4. She’s Insanely Jealous
There’s a reason most women don’t care for polygamy.
Be very careful how you talk about other women around your wife.
Don’t ever compare your wife to another woman.
- Don’t compare her to some female movie star.
- Don’t compare her to your mother.
- Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife (or other wife!)
She’s wants to know and believe that she is the center of your universe. So make her feel that way.
Even the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives got jealous. Aisha (RA) even got jealous of Khadijah (RA) who was dead.
Expect, and respect, the same type of jealousy from your wife.
5. She Wants You to Help Her Become A Better Muslimah
If you haven’t seen it yet, I encourage you to watch this video I did a couple of weeks ago for Muslim men. In this video I stress the importance of men taking the role of leader within their families.
And that’s the problem with a lot of Muslim men these days.
Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re being led by their wives (or mothers, or other women in their lives).
Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And what better way to lead her than to be show her how to be a better Muslimah?
But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re not that great either. Therefore, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way.
6. She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But Sometimes You Make It Hard
It’s a common myth that women like to nag their husbands. That’s not entirely true.
Yes, there are some people (men and women) whom you can never please. No matter what you do, they’ll always find fault in something. Let’s be reminded of the following hadith:
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.”
Sahih Bukhari
So, yes sisters should be careful about denegrating the things your husband does for you.
But very often, you Brother, make it hard for her to hold your tongue.
Perhaps you’re always finding fault with her and she looks for things in your character to get even.
Perhaps you’re not working (or not working hard enough) and she has to work to take up some slack.
Perhaps you’re just not that great of a guy.
Once again, upgrade yourself and give her less reasons to complain and nag.
7. More Than Anything, She Wants a Stable, Happy Relationship With You
Women don’t get married just because they think it’s gonna be fun.
They get married because they want a happy family life and they believe you’re gonna give it to them.
Outside of her religious duties, that’s the most important thing in a Muslim woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable, Muslim family.
The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you to give that to her.
- Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good husband to her. Be kind. Show her you love her.
- Don’t threaten her with divorce or taking a second wife. Yes, you have the right to do both. But using them as threats is inappropriate and detrimental to your marriage.
- Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaytan, and be patient with her. There’s nothing Shaytan would love more than to destroy your marriage.
See? That isn’t all that hard, now is it?
Lucky Hassan
Mar 29. 2013
good
Urifah Ridlo
Jan 06. 2013
so informative
Khola Munir
Dec 26. 2012
(Y) v good effort! jazakAllah.. It would be better to place # 5 at 2nd position, keeping # 1 intact
Princess Teemah Paga
Dec 17. 2012
Im not married bt it has really helped me in my rship bcos its. Very educating
Daniyal Javeed
Dec 12. 2012
awes0me inf0rmati0n……..
Fawad Hasan
Dec 12. 2012
relieving truth… nice
Aamir Ali
Dec 02. 2012
very true..:)
Tariq
Dec 01. 2012
Wonderful advice but confronting the situation need your humbleness and patience. better you develop yourself a patient husband rather than a out burst one
Nik Azizi Ridzuwan
Nov 27. 2012
very nice advice.
Dannielle Lee
Nov 25. 2012
absolutely that's what I want but I cant get it…
M Sadiq Salman
Nov 22. 2012
very good article….others should also read it.
Sk Zaffar
Nov 23. 2012
really gud one
Waseem Faisal
Nov 21. 2012
I am a bit clear 4 my relationship, so it help.
shahrukh
Nov 20. 2012
impressive
Adam Ayub
Nov 19. 2012
Abdirisak Hassan Osman
Nov 18. 2012
Good article for caring couples!
Saira Tariq
Nov 18. 2012
very nice advice for both husband and wife
Hoorain Khan
Nov 17. 2012
nice
Shohala Yasmeen
Nov 17. 2012
wooow…dam gud…
Shohala Yasmeen
Nov 17. 2012
DAM GUD ARTICLE…..PLZ READ…
Shohala Yasmeen
Nov 17. 2012
PLZ FRNDS READ D COMPLETE ARTICLE..ITS DAM GUD….
Syed Yawar Ali Buqari
Nov 18. 2012
hmmmmmmmm
Abrar Shareef
Dec 11. 2012
mashallah eyes wow wow nice looking dear
Tong
Nov 17. 2012
Well thanks for the article.
At least we can get some hints
Nizam Jayah
Nov 17. 2012
Good for all married couples rather who are on line of marriage.
Sherly Samath
Nov 17. 2012
so true, men are no where
-
Kamran Khan Mohmand
Nov 16. 2012
very nice article.
Yazar Yazar
Nov 16. 2012
hemm , yes.
Nabiha Faisal
Nov 16. 2012
very nice article.
shah.hasan
Nov 16. 2012
thanks
Ahmed Hussain Qureshi
Nov 16. 2012
Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she does not have to cook your meals.
But she does.
And she does that on top of all the other things in her life:
Working or going to school.
Caring for the kids.
Striving to be a better Muslimah
It is her job to clean dirty clothes and cook meals and striving to be a better muslimah goes hand in hand. It is not on top of other things.
shah.hasan
Nov 16. 2012
Agreed
AnsarAli
Nov 15. 2012
I’m agree with this word. Thnx a lot for suggest us…
shah.hasan
Nov 16. 2012
Welcome
Afia Sajid
Nov 16. 2012
So true
Roba Hussen
Nov 15. 2012
wow very useful masha allah.
Shahad A. Al-Lawand
Nov 15. 2012
She’s wants to know and believe that she is the center of your universe. So make her feel that way (y) (y).
Mahrukh Ali
Nov 15. 2012
great
Sal
Nov 15. 2012
This is a really good article but i truly believe this is every woman’s dreams and feelings not just Us Muslim woman this is for every woman
Arshad Suhail
Nov 15. 2012
really very good topic to discuss.
Shakila Rafique
Nov 15. 2012
I think it would be helpful if a video was also made for women…. so practically they implement the change in their life 2 be a better muslimah and a better wife…
Mohd Mudasar
Nov 15. 2012
very nice article.
Mahwish Marghub
Nov 15. 2012
good article
Mahwish Marghub
Nov 15. 2012
very impressive Article…..must read n share also (Y)
Khuram Tabassom
Nov 15. 2012
is this true?
Mahwish Marghub
Nov 16. 2012
yap 100%
Kara-Lynn Ida Tomasi
Apr 27. 2013
obviously
Bershin Paul
Nov 15. 2012
I got many good thing & think. I am christian but birth place of christiannity from muislim. So I love it. Ya allahu
Arsalan Sabir Bhatti
Nov 15. 2012
well I'm not married but it would be use ful to the girl whom I'm going to married… thanks for this…
Mona Luckiiy Charm
Nov 15. 2012
I really learned alot today am married my self and this is a really gd advice for me as a muslim wife jasakalu qheyr sister.
Mona Luckiiy Charm
Nov 15. 2012
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